Ask TDM Anything - Events at the Capitol

Great question. It's important to remember that not everyone is open to examining their own views and perspectives. If you find that someone is more interested in stating a perspective than discussing it, you'll sometimes have to be content with leaving them in that space. But feel free to ask to change the conversation if they are not open to other perspectives. 

A good way to find out if you should engage in a conversation is by asking the question, "Are you open to another point of view?" If they say yes, you have established a verbal contract that will help create a civil dialogue. 

Listen and watch your body language! Acknowledge points that you agree with. Ask questions that clarify points or information resources. Then share your perspective with them. 

Remember that sometimes it's about planting seeds, not changing entire views in the moment. Also, remember that you can always end a conversation that is not productive or causing you stress. 

Love this and will totally be using it: "Are you open to another point of view?"

Bingo. This is a lot of the issue. People believing lies that continue to be told over and over.

The saying "perception is reality" is absolutely true here however I ask is the purpose of the conversation to "change them" or to understand them. Sometimes we are entering these conversations thinking we are going to win them over and make them change. When some of the initial conversations are to truly understand them - why are they subscribing to this information? What are the fears? Once you seek to understand that may be helpful to know what other sources and research you can bring to the next conversation (as these should be ongoing ideally).

Thanks for this question. There were many people who participated in the demonstration that were there to peacefully protest and make their voices heard. Whether you agree or not, that is their right. However, if they were breaking the law and inciting violence or inside the Capitol building illegally, and have shared that, you should report that activity.  In addition, if someone is discussing staging a riot, (not a peaceful protest), that is something that you should report. 

We recommend using this blog from the TDM site for tips and best practices on navigating these conversations in the workplace. https://thediversitymovement.com/navigating-the-2020-election-outcome-with-your-employees/

I am looking forward to hearing this response, as I have seen on social media that there are a couple of people in my extended circle that may support the rioters, and the president.   I'm struggling, as I just can't fathom anyone supporting the president given his words prior to what happened at our Capitol.   I'm just really struggling.   

Thanks for asking! This is key why conversations ideally would have already been happening in the organization around unconscious bias, how to mitigate that in the workplace and with others, and how to have courageous conversations (which is a skill to develop). These conversations, knowing that you are working closely with someone that may not agree with you is HARD WORK! However the key to inclusive organizations is that ANYONE feels they belong not just those that think like us. So we have to do a few things:

Practice listening! 

Ask questions seeking honestly to understand - Why? Tell me more.

Stretch our muscles of mitigating unconscious bias - when working with them making sure you are not letting that bias creep in. 

Not easy work but necessary for truly inclusive organizations!

It's important to remember your own self care. It's okay to turn off the TV or log out of your social media apps. Limit your exposure when you are feeling exhausted. It's also important as business leaders to share resources for support that are offered through your company or organization. Be patient with your employees as they are navigating their feelings around these events coming off of the events of 2020, which are still present with us. Dedicate time to hear your teams out but then, it's okay to say, "Alright, thank you for sharing those perspectives, let's get focused on the tasks at hand."

Thank you for raising this question. An employee is looking for resources for how to have these conversations with kids OR getting the kids together to talk about differences. Are there specific groups that can help facilitate those discussions?

This article from the Child Mind Institute might help. It has tips and strategies created to help navigate discussions based on a child's age and developmental level. There are parts that I think can be useful to us adults as well.

https://childmind.org/blog/helping-kids-understand-the-riots-at-the-capitol/

Thanks @David Galindo. I hadn't seen the article you shared--looking at it now! Here's another good one: https://www.npr.org/sections/congress-electoral-college-tally-live-updates/2021/01/07/954415771/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-the-riots-at-the-u-s-capitol.

Thanks Sharon for your question. First let's NOT think that our children are not "talking" about it amongst themselves. With access to social media, some being in person in school, etc. they are seeing it and we want to of course discuss with them what they are seeing and the impact it can have on society from MULTIPLE perspectives. Of course take into account their age and try to provide information and resources on their level. However, try to be a place of "fact" for them, not again convincing them of your "opinions". Lastly be willing to admit we don't have all the answers either. My 10 year old watched that day and just kept asking me "why" - Why would they do that though? Why would they damage property? Why? Why? Why? And for some of the answers I just had to say "I don't know". 

Just provide the space for them to share/talk and again practice the skills of listening - some of our young people/children have the best solutions to all we are trying to solve!

Teaching Tolerance has some great resources as well - https://www.tolerance.org/

Thank you so much.

Thanks Rod for your work and efforts in this area. For any company to make a statement I hope that they truly make a "STATEMENT" by showing this is what we believe and aligns with our values. If the statement is just that and not just a we are doing it because everyone else is doing it then we should be willing to stand behind it - which maybe we lose clients along the way. Thus why it is so important to be clear about what things we will make statements about. 

In this particular case you referenced condemning violence, if we have a client that believes in violence then should they be our client? It was not a political statement it is a statement where we believe that violence is not a solution to problems. That's something I hope any person in the organization would support and stand behind to any client outside of political preference. 

Thank you for your response, Florence!

Oh, and thank you for providing this opportunity. I appreciate and have learned from the questions others have asked.

Thank you for posting and of course we are here to support you! 

Thank you Carly! We are always here to lend our insights and support you!

Thanks so much Amelia. We are here to help and are glad we have the opportunity to engage with individuals like yourself! Take care, Florence